Photo credit: Peter Parsons / The Chronicle Herald staff

[The Chronicle Herald] As a rule, it’s probably best not to advocate tattoos as a means of winning a bet or a contest. Unless it’s a happy moment of serendipity in which a situation arises in which you were planning on getting a tattoo anyway — or, at least, that the situation inspires you to get a piece that you enjoy but may not have considered otherwise — the results will likely be dire. (I swear, that photo-realistic sleeve of Oprah horse-whipping the Pope in drag was for charity!) Luckily, JoAnn Harpell isn’t in the regretful camp: the Nova Scotia woman got a portrait of Elton John on her leg (right) in order to win a radio contest to see John in concert.

“The only thing I wouldn’t have done (to get a ticket) would be to go to a scalper,” Ms. Harpell said.

And she did try to get tickets when they first went on sale for the Halifax and Moncton concerts.

“I cried like a baby when I didn’t get them,” she said. “I was very upset.”

The serendipitous part is that Harpell was already moderately tattooed, and there are a few songs in Sir Elton’s catalogue that are incredibly meaningful for her — the lyrics of which were incorporated into the new piece. Sweet story, right? Surely the commenters visiting The Chronicle Herald’s Web site agree, right?

“I can’t believe that anyone would go to those extremes to see an entertainer plus with 14 tattoos she is lucky she has a husband. I think she needs to take some of her money and see a psychiatrist.”

“There are two things wrong with this story. First, that this woman will disfigure herself for a couple of tickets to see an aging pop star, and second, that C100 would sponsor such a thing. Unbelievable. Shows very bad judgement on both their parts. And the tattoo is very poorly done and looks nothing like Sir Elton. I felt really embarrassed for her, and really ticked off at C100 for their juvenile behaviour.”

“C100 is a crazy radio station and this woman’s behavior fits right in. Me thinks you need to get a life…… “

God damn it.

[NOLA.com] In the latest edition of Tattoos v. School Board, the St. John the Baptist Parish School Board in New Orleans is seeking to ban “visible lewd and gang-related tattoos,” which doesn’t actually sound the like worst idea ever. Sure, it’s problematic because terms like “lewd” and “gang-related” are certainly open to interpretation: Is a traditional pin-up girl “lewd”? Should a tattoo referencing one’s neighborhood qualify as “gang-related”? And as well, some may suggest that prohibiting tattoos of any kind is some sort of violation, constitutional or otherwise. But at the same time … it’s high school. Banning tattoos and piercings is silly, but, as with any venue that relies on a sense of decorum to maintain some semblance of order, I can’t quite disagree with measures that might cut down on idiotic gang violence. As long as it’s not a single figurehead making the decisions — a committee of peers, perhaps?

[NYPost.com] It seriously seems like there’s a tattoo-related story coming out of the Republican presidential campaign every other day, does it not? This is one is even more boring than usual, though. Meghan McCain was overheard talking to her editor about getting a new tattoo! She’s already got a blue star tattooed on her foot, and her editor has 11 tattoos of his own! McCain said she would wait, however, until after the election to get new work done, out of respect to her father, who, for five-and-a-half years in Vietnam, couldn’t get a tattoo.

From: C______@gmail.com>
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 2:59 PM
Subject: tip on Sarah Pallin

Notes: Sarah’s sister in-law owns a beauty parlor in Wasilla…apparently Sarah’s lip liner is tattooed on…not sure what to do with that one.

leak to wonkette

As Ken Layne mentions, this is completely unsubstantiated and the person sending in the story spells Palin’s last name wrong, but my word! Can the McCain/Palin campaign recover after having been rocked by these allegations? The important thing to consider here is that her pit bull joke from the RNC should be read in an entirely new context now, since tattooing dogs is obviously totally wrong. Basically, knowing what we do now, she all but said she would personally tattoo every canine in Alaska. Why does Sarah Palin hate animals?

Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe) [Wonkette.com]

[AVClub.com] Hey, a guide on getting a tattoo from The Onion A.V. Club! That should be pretty good, right?

“Outside of having kids, getting a tattoo is one of the worst mistakes a person can make, yet somehow (much like having kids), millions of people do it every year.”

Sigh. Aviva Yael, co-author of No Regrets: The Best, Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever stops by to offer her own insights as well, for what it’s worth.

[Oneindia.in] Tattoos and piercings are on the rise in Saudi Arabia, which is sitting poorly with religious scholars who insist that “Prophet Muhammad clearly stated that tattoos are forbidden as they are an attempt to change Allah’s creation.” The article also indicates that the studios are unhygienic (if not downright filthy), though it could certainly be the case that this is just a people coming to terms with a burgeoning cultural phenomenon.

[CBS13.com] Say, do you live in Moore, Oklahoma? Fancy yourself a Barack Obama supporter? Like free tattoos? Well, Phillip Calfy at 405 Ink is offering free Obama portraits for anyone who wants one. Calfy’s tapped out as far as spare money to donate to the Obama campaign goes, but he sees this as a good second option. “I’m a tattoo artist,” he says, “and a lot of people that are into the tattoo thing like free tattoos.” Indeed.

Photo credit: Huffington Post

Yes, that’s Levi’s hand, and yes, it’s Bristol’s name. Huh. Better than biting it off, I guess.