Hey, ’tis the season for portrait photography, right? Lissaa (far left) writes in:

My friends and I decided to go get professional pictures done at Walmart, probably the biggest waste of 120 bucks ever spent, but it made for a good ass Tuesday.

I apologize in advance for posting such graphic and disturbing content this early in the morning, but this is an issue — a threat — that, if allowed to continue unabated, could have consequences most dire. (Remember that time the dolphins grew thumbs and then used them to plant poisonous snakes in bunches of delicious bananas, all over the world, just because they could, just to screw with us? It’ll be like that, yet somehow worse.) Untold thousands of miniature humans like the one pictured above are literally appearing every day, latching onto defenseless adults for sustenance and warmth and resources and such. What’s their agenda? Why won’t they speak? And why do these adults play along so willingly — is it a spell, or simply blackmail? I feel I’ve said too much as it is.

… Or it could be that this baby is twigboy’s son, and that, in his words:

This was the first day my son Scott figured out he could grab onto my ear and use it as a handle. Now he just grabs my ear and falls backwards — seems he knows that as long as he holds on, he won’t fall.

Huh, that’s funny. She doesn’t seem like a redhead. Ah, the wonders of black and white photography.

I know, I know … it’s not fair to you, the fine readers, to post such abjectly horrifying images at this late an hour. It’s getting on towards bedtime, and here I am, the thoughtless ogre, putting up shots that would spook the bejesus out of a goddamned sea monster. What do I have to say for myself? Not much. Not much at all.

Without lapsing too heavily into hyperbole, let me just say that this is the most depressing photo ModBlog has ever published. How can you look at this brutal display of helplessness and not have your entire day ruined? This is positively Sisyphean. I need to go lie down.