What is the measure of a man? Is it the fine luxury automobile he drives? Perhaps the house he owns? Or maybe the children who carry on his legacy? Well…considering I don’t have a car, a house or kids, I’m gonna say it’s the heartiness of your beard. And by that logic, Alice is the goddamn manliest man I’ve ever seen. Another shot of her imperial bristles, after the jump.

Alice has been featured on these here Internets once or twice before, and with good reason! Easy on the eyes, heavy blackwork sleeves, multiple excellent pieces by the esteemed Xed le Head and, apparently, total imperviousness to the cold and snow. Warning! Naughty bits, after the jump.

And here we have Neek, hands tied behind his head and about to be cast off Mt. Olympus by the gods, for the grave transgression of, um, washboard abs, mostly. Hera wanted to keep him around because she so fancied the fine stippling work being done by Alice Newstead in his armpits, but was sadly outvoted. After the jump, startling video of his earthly punishment, which involves hanging by hooks in his forearms, for eternity. Terrible.

Look familiar? That’d be Alice, hanging in … a Lush window? Whaaa? Oh, it’s part of a demonstration to protest “the barbaric practise of shark finning, where fins are hacked off live sharks and they are thrown back in the ocean to die. As well as being a horribly cruel fishing practise, the killing of sharks on the huge scale that is happening at the moment is also threatening the entire fragile ecosystem of our oceans,” says Alice. Neat! It’s actually a co-protest that sees Lush teaming up with the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.

Alice goes on to describe the scene:

I suspended in the window of Lush on London’s Regent Street dressed as a mermaid for 15 minutes, hanging from two debarbed shark hooks (which, interestingly enough, are the hooks the suspension community uses as standard), while members of Sea Shepherd and Lush staff members handed out flyers and talked to the press about the campaign. Later in the day, the Lush staff headed to Chinatown to protest about restaurants selling shark products.

Noble cause? Check. Innovative technique? Yep. Good press for the suspension community? Indeed! Surely the erudite and gifted denizens of the Internets would agree. Right?

“This is again the horrible idea that shocking people helps. It’s like thinking that a public display of the most terrible experiments on animals can increase people love for them. I think this is just sick. Love brings love, disgusting stuff can only bring horror and fuel maniacs.”

“Horrible display of a female, when I saw the photo I said to me, somebody is sick.”

“Sad when our world has to resort to such tactics in order to draw attention to something. Every person has his/her own motive for doing the things they do. What’s happening to this world? Is it Money? Attention? Care-less hearts? Calloused hearts? I wonder if anyone walked away thinking about the sharks or applause for a masochistic girl? … Sad.”

Ohh … right.