Another scar by someone who rhymes with Sauteed Nun

I am getting very tired of having to type out the name “Wayde Dunn” (WaydeDunn.com), but thanks to Betty who had this piece cut while he was at 5 Point in Johnston, IA, I have to post another one of his wonderful scarification pieces! That said — and I feel terrible saying this — if it heals bad, it’s going to look like the worst shaving rash ever!

A Short History of the Body

modbody

“Having a pump is like having sex. I train two, sometimes three times a day. Each time I get a pump. It’s great. I feel like I’m coming all day…”
– Arnold Schwarzenegger

By most accounts, the actual sport of aesthetic bodybuilding (different from athletic competition) is unofficially dated back to 11th century India, where athletes lifted carved stone dumbell weights (called Nals) much the same as modern fitness equipment is used to fatigue and tear our 21st century muscles. In fact, gyms in India have been traced back to this same period, and by the 16th century, it is said that bodybuilding was one of their national pastimes. There must be something intrinsically human about changing the human body, because it seems to be a fairly consistent activity throughout all recorded history, regardless of the method.

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Though much has been made of the importance of physical fitness in the ancient Greek (and later, Roman) empires, the specific pursuit of bodybuilding did not yet exist. Instead, the athletes were trained in several sports and were expected to be consistent in each. These athletes were professionals in the truest sense of the word, and enjoyed great festivals in their honour at the conclusion of every sporting event. The very early Olympic games were held between cities, which each supported their own stable of elite athletes.

Unfortunately, quite a large gap exists between those early days and the middle of the 19th century, when bodybuilding began in earnest in North America and throughout Europe. At the first modern Olympics in 1896, there were two weightlifting events, variations of which continue today. Many North Americans were first exposed to bodybuilding through the strongman at traveling circus sideshows and carnivals. The man credited with ‘inventing’ many of the contemporary bodybuilding techniques was a German named Eugen Sandow, who, like many other strongmen before (and since), traveled with sideshows until the 1890’s. Before long, however, he came to see his body as a work of art, and began touring to show off his amazing physique during “Muscle Display Performances.” Hired as the personal fitness trainer to King George V, he was able to reach out to the public and advocate the potential of the human body through diet and increased physical activity. He was very influential in starting up a Ministry of Health, among other initiatives. As early as his influence was on bodybuilding, he is still revered as a deserving pioneer in the body building industry — as a tribute, the Mr. Olympia trophy is a gold statue of Sandow.

By the time Sandow died in 1925, bodybuilding had begun to take on some degree of popularity throughout England and Europe. Weightlifting equipment such as barbells and dumbbells were available commercially throughout the world, and a new generation of (mostly) men began lifting weights to create a more ‘masculine’ physique. To give you an example of the popularity of bodybuilding, who hasn’t heard of Charles Atlas? He was in his hey-day in the 1930’s, and he’s still a household name.

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The “Golden Age” of bodybuilding is recognized as the years between 1940 and 1970. There were many new magazines devoted to the sport, and international organizations were in charge of hosting competitions for athletes worldwide. Most of us have an internal image, however stereotypical, of big guys lifting weights on the beach — it’s almost archetypal — but that place existed in Santa Monica, California. It has been referred to as Muscle Beach since the 1930’s. It was during this period when the basic ideology of bodybuilding was laid out: ‘train for health, strength, fitness and refined muscular development.’

For many, the bodybuilders of this period represent the height of masculinity. The competitors were huge, but still had some body fat. They were strong, but the average person could relate to them much more easily than anybody can to today’s ultra-chemically-enhanced bodies. Movies such as Tarzan and Spiderman featured bodybuilders-turned-actors in the roles of amazing super-men. Professional bodybuilders such as Lou Ferrigno and (now Governor) Arnold Schwarzenegger continued this trend from the 1970’s, taking us all the way up to today. For a great (if exaggerated) representation of bodybuilding in the 70’s, see the movie Pumping Iron. For many, that film represents the height of bodybuilding, even though those athletes are much less exaggerated than today’s.

Many believe that the sport of competitive bodybuilding has gone a little too far over the past twenty years. Whatever the case, constantly-improving supplements, steroids, and workout routines will ensure that tomorrow’s bodybuilders will be even bigger, leaner, and stronger. And probably more chemically tanned. And although all the right drugs and supplements help to refine the physiques of these athletes, it is undeniable that such an activity still takes an incredible amount of dedication and hard work. And we haven’t even touched on the subject of female bodybuilders! There are a multitude of resources on bodybuilders, bodybuilding and personal transformations on the internet. I generally try to avoid plugging other websites here, but bodybuilding.com is the BME of fitness.

Progress

It’s now been four months since I started my training, and it’s still going great. I haven’t missed any sessions (except when I’ve been out of town) and I haven’t let myself give up before an entire workout, even though I’ve felt very, very close to doing so. On occasion, the only thing that keeps me there is the thought that I know that I will recover in time. It is very often tough to push yourself without a workout partner, though I am doing my best. I find it’s easiest if I challenge myself to get the most out of my workouts.

What I’d never really considered before this month is how much the outside world can affect your dedication to consistent training. This has been a very tough month for me in many ways, and as we all know, this has a tendency to affect our bodies. I haven’t let this happen, however, and I am better off for it. I remain dedicated to my physical transformation, and though my goals are still formulating in my mind, I know I’m one step closer with every visit to the gym. I find it much easier to resist all the grossly fattening foods I used to feel so guilty about eating, and when I give in to temptation, I’m no longer riddled with that same feeling. I enjoy eating the occasional “cheat meal,” because as dedicated as I am, I still have to enjoy life. This has even rubbed off on my partner, who is now eating healthier than ever before (and seeing results after just a few weeks!) and enjoying herself at the same time. It just goes to show that you don’t have to starve yourself to lose weight — just a conscious decision to make the change for the better.

I now totally understand why “workout people” hate to miss a session. What one person calls obsession is simply dedication to another. If I miss one date at the gym, it sets me back almost an entire week. At this point I’m going to the gym six times per week: weightlifting is twice with my trainer and twice by myself, in addition to the three sessions of cardiovascular exercise I have recently undertaken. On Mondays and Thursdays I work my back, my shoulders and my arms, and on Tuesday and Friday I work my chest and my legs. Aside from having missed one session due to Thanksgiving and having trouble getting back into the swing of things, this “split routine” is going well. Certain areas of my body are reacting well to it, and others are still lagging behind. The problem with an area that’s not developing well is that it won’t improve if you just add more weight — you need to work out smarter, not harder, or the muscle fibers will not heal.

Unfortunately, on my first “alone” session without the trainer, I pushed myself a little too hard. At the time, I felt great. “Wow, I can push more weight than I thought!” But that led to problems at my next session with the trainer, because I could barely lift any weight at all. The same for the session after that. I had torn my muscles so badly that I hadn’t recovered in a whole week. It set me back and I promised myself I’d never do that again. The idea, as I’ve found out, is to stimulate the muscles into growing, not tear them to shreds so that they take forever to heal (and don’t necessarily gain you any strength or size once they have healed). Muscles get bigger and stronger while outside of the gym, and that’s why it’s important to eat plenty of healthy food and get lots of rest. You can tear the muscles all you want, but you won’t see any gains if you over-do it or fail to get adequate nutrition and sleep.

Statistically, I’m improving constantly, which has become my main motivation.

Former refers to July 14, the date of my first workout.
Current refers to November 7.

Former Body Weight: 175.0 lbs / 79.3 Kg
Current Body Weight: 190.0 lbs / 86.2 Kg

Former Body Fat: 20.7% — 35.2 lbs / 16.0 Kg
Current Body Fat: 15.0% — 27.8 lbs / 12.6.0 Kg

Former Fat-Free Mass: 79.3% — 135.2 lbs / 61.3 Kg
Current Fat-Free Mass: 85.0% — 157.6 lbs / 71.5 Kg

So…. that’s a total gain of 15.0 lbs. Fat loss of 7.4 lbs. Muscle gain of 22.4 lbs.

Again, I keep getting told that my progress has been amazing. Every time I look down at my still-fat ‘gut’, I am reminded that the second phase of my bodybuilding endeavor, the “cutting” phase (losing fat/cardio exercise) is just around the corner. My main priority has been to add muscle to my frame — if I had simply done cardio work from the beginning, I would have lost the fat by now, but I wouldn’t have had any muscle underneath it. And now I do, so I am preparing to start ‘chiselling’ down the fat and working on problem areas. I feel like a science experiment with all this weight gain and weight loss, and it’s only going to get worse, but better at the same time. I am excited to start losing fat, but I still feel like I need to gain a little more muscle (maybe 10lbs) before I do.

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Unfortunately, the pictures I took don’t come close to showing the true changes in my body shape. I’ve gained inches everywhere, and muscles are now starting to separate and get bigger at the same time. Hopefully next update will bring a much more improved version of my body!

dsig

Dustin Sharrow

Who is Jim Ward? [Running The Gauntlet – By Jim Ward]


1: Who Is Jim Ward?

A recent MTV documentary called me “the granddaddy of thae modern piercing movement”, in case you were wondering who I am. Maybe that gives me sufficient credentials to write a bit every now and then about the history of modern piercing and how it has evolved into what it’s become today. After all I helped create a lot of that history.

Even if you never heard my name before, maybe you’ve heard of the business I started back in 1975 called Gauntlet. That business provided an outlet and a means for me to make the world aware of the wonders of piercing.

In the months to come I’d like to tell you something about your roots. The modern piercing movement didn’t just suddenly happen. It evolved, and part of that evolution started with me. Not that you’re interested in my whole life story, but a little background to put it all in perspective wouldn’t be out of place.

I was born in the bleakness that is Western Oklahoma six months before Pearl Harbor. Looking back on it much of my childhood was just as barren and desolate as the landscape.

I couldn’t wait to escape. In the back yard of one place we lived, there was a beat up old trailer with wooden slat sides and flat tires that had long ceased to be roadworthy. I remember often climbing up to the top and looking out at the distant two-lane highway and longing to follow that road anywhere just so long as it was away from the desolation of small-town life.

My parents were childhood sweethearts who eloped and secretly married shortly after they graduated from high school. The year I was born they both turned 21, perhaps a bit young to undertake the responsibilities of a family. Seldom was the rod — more often the belt — spared. They thought this would build character and assure that I wasn’t spoiled. Instead it resulted in a fearful, timid child indoctrinated with Presbyterian guilt. Years later in therapy I remembered being told, “We punish you because we love you.” Translation: punishment equals love. Not difficult to understand how S/M became rooted in my psyche!

Fifth grade was my last school year in Oklahoma. My teacher was Miss Newman, a horse-faced old maid so uptight she considered “fanny” a dirty word. What I remember most vividly from that year was an incident involving one of my classmates. His name was James and he was an impish kid with a knack for getting into mischief. He and several others were in the boys’ restroom during recess one day. After finishing at the urinal he turned and demonstrated for the rest of us how his penis got bigger and harder when he stroked it. Whether or not he had any clue what that was all about I’ve no idea. I was simultaneously appalled and fascinated. Something told me this was naughty and sinful and that I should pray for him.

My family moved to Colorado just in time for me to hit puberty at age eleven. Growing up in a very religious household where the subject of sex was hardly ever discussed left me totally unprepared for what was happening in my body. My mind kept flashing back to that day in the boys’ room when James had played with himself. Inevitably I had to try it myself. It felt so good I didn’t want to stop. Suddenly and unexpectedly the most incredible sensation swept over me, and, with an uncontrollable spasm, white fluid shot from my penis. Don’t ask me why, but I called that white stuff cultured piss. In retrospect it seems amazing that the whole experience didn’t freak me out. Perhaps the guilt and shame and the fear of discovery were more powerful, so powerful, in fact, that I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone.

Once the intense, guilty pleasure of masturbation had been discovered, nothing, despite my greatest efforts, could stop me from doing it for very long. Prayer didn’t help. Memorizing and reciting bible verses didn’t help. Not quite understanding why, I began to develop crushes on some of my classmates, the young men who worked as church youth counselors, and on the newly appointed youth minister. Before his conversion, one of the counselors apparently had been something of a bad boy and had gotten into trouble. He had a tattoo on one forearm, and I found myself strangely attracted to him. I wanted desperately to be close to all these guys, to please them, to be noticed by them, to…? There was an undefined longing for something for which I had no name. It was agony.

 
Charles Atlas (click the picture to see some of his comic book ads).


Do comic books still contain those ads for Charles Atlas where the cartoon bully kicks sand in the face of the “97-pound weakling” only to get his comeuppance later when said weakling becomes a buff bodybuilder? The ads usually included a large photo of some muscle-bound hunk. In spite of the fact that I lacked any knowledge of the mechanics of sex, I frequently locked myself in the bathroom or the basement and jacked off looking at those photos and fantasizing myself naked and bound and forced in some vague way to please my tormentor.

In time the burden I was carrying became unbearable, and I finally sought counsel from the church youth minister. The moment was painfully awkward, and I don’t remember how I expressed what was troubling me and I don’t recall everything that was said. I do remember Rev. Bill telling me there were three kinds of sexual expression: between a man and woman, between two men (for some reason he didn’t think to include two women), and masturbation. His mention of male/female sex elicited no response. It’s possible mention of the male/male thing made me pale or blush. I don’t know, but it probably wasn’t difficult to see how uncomfortable I was when he got around to masturbation. His counsel was low-key, and frankly I don’t recall much about it. He did take the time at least to enlighten me on the basics of sexual intercourse.

 
Rev. Bill in church (c. 1958). The first man I ever had a sexual encounter with.


Soon after this talk with the youth minister I had one of my first sexual experiences with another person, Rev. Bill. One night we found ourselves sitting in the darkened church talking about something. Rev. Bill put his hand on my leg and slowly moved to unzip my fly, reach inside my pants, and begin to play with me. I was nervous and found it difficult to get erect, but I didn’t want him to stop. I reached over and began to fondle him. This mutual masturbation continued for a little while until he excused himself and said he had to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later he returned and it was clear that the encounter was over. We had one other such experience the following summer at church camp.

I lost contact with Rev. Bill. His proclivities eventually got him into trouble. He ended up marrying a woman some said was old enough to be his mother — I don’t recall if he ever had a child — and moved to a church in the Seattle area. Some years later I learned he had died of AIDS.

As my high school years were drawing to a close, I became increasingly hostile to the religion of my family. My best friend, with whom I had done some sexual experimentation, was an Episcopalian. I began going to church with him and eventually became a member.

The Episcopal Church was in a little tourist town called Manitou Springs. Across the street from it was a very nice little gift shop that didn’t sell the usual tacky souvenirs. Instead it was a place to find beautiful local crafts plus fine china, glassware and the like. John, the owner, was quick to spot a young gay man, and discovering my lack of experience, set about introducing me into the local gay community, such as it was in 1959. I worked for John that summer and was taken under the wing of a kindly older gentleman named Frank who introduced me to the various expressions of gay sex, at least the non-kinky variety. I was beginning to discover myself.

 
Frank in his Knights of Columbus regalia (c. 1959). He brought me out.

For several years after high school graduation I bounced back and forth from one school to another trying to find a vocation, but was so emotionally fucked up I couldn’t stick with anything. The mid-to-late 60s found me in New York working in various design-related jobs. Two things were noteworthy about this period, for they would have a significant bearing upon the establishing of Gauntlet. First, I took a number of classes in jewelry making. Second, I discovered the world of gay S/M and piercing.

From the onset of puberty my masturbatory fantasies always involved S/M. When I jacked off I would frequently experiment with various kinds of bondage. I also discovered that intense nipple work was a big turn on and began experimenting with all kinds of clamps.

The year was 1967, and I was living in Brooklyn Heights in an ancient brownstone apartment building at the foot of Joralemon Street known to the local gays as Vaseline Flats because of the sexual orientation of many residents. From my bathroom window I could look down on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway and the East River.

A few blocks away on Montague Street, two gay guys, Steve and Marc, had opened a small bookstore. A friendship developed. As we became better acquainted, they disclosed that they were members of the New York Motor Bike Club, a group of gay men into leather and S/M. Here was my opportunity to explore that side of my personality that I had kept secret for so long. I felt much like I did when I discovered I was gay and that I wasn’t alone. There were others who shared the same drives and longings.

In the mid-60s the gay S/M scene was nothing like it is today. Things were far from codified. No one had ever heard of safe words. It wasn’t even clear whether wearing ones keys on the left meant you were a top or a bottom and vice versa. On the East Coast it was said it meant you were a top, but if you were from the West Coast it meant you were a bottom. The bandana color code was still several years in the future. Just how much actual S/M was going on is hard for me to say. In my own experience what passed for S/M was mostly rough sex with a little role playing and bondage thrown in on occasion.

 
Here I am (c. 1967) at the New York Motorbike Clubhouse in my new outfit.


The “leather boutique” where you could outfit yourself and your toy collection was also some time away. One afternoon I took the subway to Delancy Street, one of New York’s Jewish neighborhoods. This was hardly the place I would have expected to find a motorcycle jacket, but someone from the motorbike club had given me the address of a tiny clothing store where I could find one at an extremely low price. A very orthodox looking merchant waited on me and helped me find a jacket that fit.

My next stop was a Western wear store where I purchased a pair of Levi’s, a pair of Wellington boots, and a black cowboy hat. Having grown up in orthopedic shoes I expected the boots to be uncomfortable, but to my amazement they weren’t. With my purchases in hand I could hardly wait to get back to my apartment. I immediately took off all my clothes, put on the boots and jacket, and jacked off in front of a mirror, the feel and smell of the leather fueling my lust. It felt like a rite of passage. I was finally becoming myself.

About this time I read a magazine article about a man who had made an extensive sea voyage. To mark the occasion he had had his ear pierced. Reading this article triggered something in my psyche. I simply had to have an ear pierced. It didn’t matter that it was 1967, and most men didn’t wear earrings. This was just something I had to do.

 
A fellow NYMBC member, Ron did me the honor of piercing my ear.

The New York Motorbike Clubhouse was a storefront near the foot of Christopher Street, a short distance from the docks and the leather bars. With Steve and Marc’s sponsorship, I joined NYMBC and made friends with a number of the members. One of them was a man named Ron. Ron had been a merchant seaman and had the tattoos to go with the profession. Even his earlobes were tattooed with stars, in the middle of which were piercings. His tattoos and pierced ears turned me on, and led us to share some sexual exploits. We ended up as good buddies. It was natural that when I made the decision to have an ear pierced, I asked Ron to do it. One weekend we got together and Ron pierced my ear with a large sewing needle. With a bit of maneuvering he was finally able to insert a small gold ear stud through the piercing. It was done.

At the time I was working in a decorator showroom that sold tacky pictures and statuary to interior designers. Naturally I was concerned that my pierced ear would not be acceptable to my employer. Still I had to leave something in the piercing for at least six weeks until it was sufficiently healed to be able to leave it out through the work day. Every morning before I left for work I would carefully clean the piercing and put a Band-Aid over it. If anyone asked I could always say I cut myself shaving. No one ever asked. At the end of six weeks I would take the stud out before going to work and insert it again when I got home. The piercing healed and is with me today.

For several years nipple play was something that I found highly erotic. I’ve no idea how it even came about, but at some point I began fantasizing about piercing my nipples and wearing gold rings in them. It was a fantasy that never ceased to turn me on, but I was afraid to actually admit it to anyone. One Saturday afternoon I even attempted to pierce my own nipples.

An ex-lover of mine was a watchmaker. He had a small tool box filled with various materials that he used in his trade. Among them was a small roll of thin gold wire. I snipped a few inches of it and from it fashioned a couple of small gold rings about 3/8″ in diameter. Although I filed the ends so there would be no burrs or rough edges, they still had no closure and were way too thin for the job. At the time I had no way of knowing this was important.

That fateful Saturday afternoon I took the gold rings, the cork from a bottle of wine, and a push pin and soaked them in a small dish of alcohol. After cleaning my nipples with some of the alcohol, I pressed the cork against one side, the point of the push pin on the other, and taking a deep breath forced the pin through and into the cork. It hurt, but not that badly. By this time I was sweating and feeling a bit light-headed. After lying down for a few minutes, I recovered enough to proceed. It would be necessary to remove the pin to insert the ring. When I did, the wound began to bleed a little, but fortunately not enough to be a problem. The difficult part was trying to maneuver the round ring through the straight hole. This took several harrowing minutes, but I finally succeeded. All that remained was to do the other nipple. Somehow I managed. It was a testimony to my determination that I finished. But soon afterward I freaked out a bit at what I had done and removed the rings. By the following morning, were it not for the pleasurable tenderness, I would not have known what had happened the previous day.

 
Fernando, a legend in the NY leather scene, was the first man I ever saw with pierced nipples.


But the fantasy of pierced nipples would not go away. Finally after a few weeks I gathered up my determination and my trusty makeshift tools and repeated the ordeal. This time I left the rings in place, though I was very closeted about having them and carefully removed them before going to bed with anyone. After sex I would get dressed, go to the bathroom, and reinsert the rings.

At this point in my life I had never seen or heard of anyone with pierced nipples even in the pages of National Geographic. That was soon to change. One weekend night I went to the Village to hang out at the NYMBC. Standing shirtless by the bar was a hunk of a man. Even in the subdued light there was no missing the glint of gold on his muscular chest. His nipples were pierced. I learned that his name was Fernando and that he was something of a local legend. Though I was never fortunate enough to enjoy the intimate pleasure of his company, he at least let me know that once again I was not alone.

Next: From New York to Hollywood


Jim Ward is is one of the cofounders of body piercing as a public phenomena in his role both as owner of the original piercing studio Gauntlet and the original body modification magazine PFIQ, both long before BME staff had even entered highschool. He currently works as a designer in Calfornia where he lives with his partner.

Copyright © 2003 BMEzine.com LLC. Requests to publish full, edited, or shortened versions must be confirmed in writing. For bibliographical purposes this article was first published August 17th, 2003 by BMEzine.com LLC in Tweed, Ontario, Canada